I got out of bed this morning at 6:45, partly because they needed the room I was in (I was supposed to move into another room, long story, but I was told after a few hours that I could again have the same room) and partly because I wanted to watch the city I felt an immediate affinity for wake up. I fall in love with India again every day, (nevermind Delhi), especially here in Udaipur. I think it’s fair to say it is a city of rooftops and hills. I sat this morning on the rooftop having tea, watching people come out onto their rooftops after their own trips to dreamland. In America our morning activities are mostly personnel, hidden from view. I don’t usually see my friends in the bathroom (well, that’s not entirely true (MICHELLE)) but here it’s normal to see the most private moments in one’s daily routine. This morning I watched a man shaving with a strap on his rooftop. He was bending down to use a small mirror he had balanced against a glass on the ledge of his patio. I watched women wearing vibrantly colored sari’s bring their sleeping blankets out to hang over the edges of their rooftops. I have to add for the sake of visualizing that the wind was blowing their sari’s, causing them to look like beautiful flags rippling in the wind. From across the lake the thumping sounds of women washing their clothes by hitting them against rocks at the lakes edge were carried to me. I turned to watch and noticed there were also women bathing, nude of course.
The sounds announcing another wedding has taken place just started….it is wedding season so I hear this several times a day. I still smile and take a moment to wonder about the bride and groom. Was their union a result of astrology, matchmakers and parental approval, or an attraction that started in secret and a choice they made independently of the stars and their families? Several people have told me that their marriages were arranged but they also had a choice. My friend Anu told her father if he didn't agree to let her marry Sanjay, she would never marry anyone. No one has told me they were forced into a marriage, although I know this happens here in India. All the women have in common that they “felt” intuitively they could eventually love the man seeking their parents consent. Intuition is a real force here. I think in America we consider “real” information, often to our detriment, when making a decision and rely too little on the wonderful capacity of the universe to lead us on our journeys. We second-guess ourselves because we have been taught, albeit perhaps subtly, that instinct isn’t fact. Many times we what-if ourselves out of possibilities, even though magic happens when we what-if ourselves into them. (“Balance” is coming to my mind but I tend to operate best in extremes.)
Anyway, tomorrow night I am going to a wedding. I don’t know the bride, or the groom, but I’m supposed to be there none-the-less. On saturday I decided I wanted to go to a wedding, I made it my intention. I went to the tailor, picked out a beautiful piece of fabric and got measured for a salwar kameez. A salwar kameez is the outfit that has pants, a long shirt, and an even longer scarf that hangs backwards around your neck. On monday morning my friend Robert mentioned that he was asked to go a wedding and said that I might be able to join him. This morning it was made official. I’m smiling as I write this. The power of intention never ceases to amaze me.
I realize this is reading more like a journal entry. I’m not sorry and I hope you like it. Udaipur has narrow, winding streets that barely have room for two autorickshaws to pass each other side-by-side. It is quaint in an Indian kind of way and centered around a lake. People are more friendly here than many of the towns I have been to in India. Walking through the streets I hear a constant chorus of Hello, Namaste, How are you?, and Have a nice day. I meant to stay for 2 nights, but I “felt” like I should stay for more. Yesterday I had a bus ticket to leave, knowing intuitively I should stay, but the universe wasn’t having it. In the hours before my departure several things came up, slowing my progress. Each time it occurred to me that I was supposed to stay, until finally there was no way for me to get to the bus station in time. I’m smiling again. Admittedly, I have only spent a small amount of time here searching out water resources so far- I spoke to Rajendra’s planner yesterday who told me he is in Delhi until tomorrow. I’m staying in this area waiting for him to be in Jaipur where I will get to meet with him and his field-site manager in a few days. My friend Raj here in Udaipur is part of an NGO that has done some water work in a village about 25 km’s from town where several people have flourosis from their well water. One of the moments that added to the proof I needed to stay here yesterday was when he told me he was trying to find someone to take care of his juice stand today so he could travel there, and invited me along. I gave him my Indian phone number but I still haven’t heard from him. I have become a bit desensitized to seeing people use the bathroom on the side of the road, wash their clothes and their bodies in the river, and carry water down the street in buckets. Part of the problem is that we let ourselves come to think of these things as being more normal than a problem after a while. I still don’t know what the women who live these realities think.
Other happenings since my arrival in India:
1- Delhi sucked, again. The cultural sexual repression seems to be taken out on foreign women. One night I was followed home and grabbed multiple times before I finally hit the guy. That little man was either incredibly bold or deaf. The first few times he grabbed my boob I was firmly intolerant but the last time I was getting scared. My rickshaw driver, being from a lower caste, was unable, more correctly, unwilling to intercede so I was happy to see the guard at Barbara’s house standing at the gate when we pulled up. He stood outside the gate yelling “just one kiss”. Thinking about it now makes me want to go back to Delhi and hit him again but what would Buddha do?
I went to the river where 50% of Delhi’s sewage enters the water after being carried through the city. You’d think they would have at least dumped it privately- the giant black pipes were above ground, dumping partially treated sewage into the river next to a small community as if daring people to rise up and do something about it. Of course the smell was awful, but the really awful part was that people were also bathing there. I think about the reality of a life forced into that, but I also wonder whether or not that reality is too normal to those in the situation to see it as something bad. I don’t know how to ask the people I see there without perhaps seeming judgmental, but I need to figure out a way.
2- Jaipur was fun, except for when I was sick. I spent almost 2 full days in the house in Jaipur! Fortunately I was staying with an incredible family (Sanjay & Anu Ochani) and had the wonderful Anu mothering me through it. From telling me I wasn’t allowed to leave until I was better, to running to the store to get me a few bottles of Nimbooz, Anu made it less uncomfortable to be sick so far from home and my own bed. (Nimbooz has the juice of lemons and limes but not in a 7UP sort of way.) Sanjay & Anu live in the state of Rajasthan, in the northwest area of India. Jaipur is the gateway to the great Thar Desert. It's the second largest state in India (twice the size of the England), the 9th most populated, and has the least amount of rainfall, averaging 60cm annually. At the Ochani’s there were 10 or 12 other couchsurfers from Canada, Germany, the US, Italy, Singapore, Switzerland, and the UK. Everyone wants to stay with this family, for good reason. They are a perfectly matched Indian couple that both equally make people feel like they just arrived home- no matter how many miles away home really is. They live in what I think is a great rooftop home above Sanjay's father, with as much open patio area as enclosed space. Around the patio are separate doors leading into a kitchen, a bathroom, a living room, and a sleeping room with a double bed for couch-surfers. Outside of the kitchen there is a small sink on the wall for hand washing and teeth brushing. My bed was in the living room where we all hung out, next to Sanjay & Anu's bedroom. We had water every night, except for one, the night I was sick. My guts were killing me and there was no water to flush the toilet. I learned to really appreciate Immodium, and Isabella from Italy who gave it to me. Never again will I think I’m immune to getting sick just because I’ve been here before.
2 Biker Chicks and a Dude: I was sitting on the patio at Sanjay & Anu’s when a group of travelers got there (returned there) after traveling around Rajasthan on motorcycles. There are people that vacation, and people that travel. I travel. Hayley, Megan, and Tevon travel times ten. The energy in the room changed when they arrived. I’m smiling again. Hayley & Megan learned how to drive the motorcycle in the streets around the house and then they set off. Some nights they slept under the stars at chai stands and others they spent with families….I couldn’t help but think as I listened to their stories that I hope my kids get to have the same kinds of adventures, have the same kinds of stories to tell, and have the same effect on people that this group had on me. Hell, I hope I get to do it too. And when I say kids, I don’t mean they were kids. They were 20 somethings, except for Tevon. I was completely impressed when I found out how old he is….the point is, I always feel so blessed. Like-minded, inspiring, good people keep crossing my path. I’m hanging out in Udaipur with another one of those types right now.
A few things I’ve learned:
When you feel grateful, don’t let it be in comparison to something or someone else. Feel grateful just because.
Listen to the cues you are given. Don’t confuse them and mess them up with thoughts that aren't feelings.
Trust, trust, trust.
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